Another week has passed. I am happy to report that no cheesecake was harmed this week. Mainly because I had that firm talk with myself the other day. You can be loving and kind and still set boundaries you know.
My incision is healing. The outer layers were first, now it’s healing from within. It is a weird feeling to itch on the inside. Don’t scratch, don’t scratch! Instead I am sitting with the sensation. Every now and again putting on my Arnica or Comfrey salve saying my mantra “Let healing occur” over and over in my mind. Then my thoughts wander off in different directions, like will we have another lock down because of the massive numbers of Covid 19 positive people here every single day? What if I would get it right now? I don’t think my body is strong enough to fight it at this point. Hmmm interesting as the sensation of fear washes over my body I bring it back to another favorite mantra of mine: “ All is well…..All is well” using it as my anchor to bring me back into the present moment. And so it goes on and on in my mind, some days a lot more depending on what I consumed that day - remember it’s not just food or drink we consume- but everything that you read, see and experience.
As calmness settles in I notice my breath, breathing in and breathing out. At first chest breathing for sure, the very minimal I have to do. But then after a couple of minutes and awareness I am flowing into Deergha Swasam - the 3-part breath, starting to tune into the rhythm of my breath. Until I no longer coach myself about breathing into the belly, the side body and way up under the collar bones…..exhaling from the top down slowly. At this point a wave of bliss runs through me. The body remembers. It not only remembers the bad things, but also all the good things I ever did. I touched on that the other day when I was telling you about playing my favorite song by Johann Johannson, the moment I listen to it my body knows that it is practice time, yoga time, Me time. I can feel my body relaxing with each breath. As I am relaxing I can see things clearer, being more of a witness to it all. So, what am I witnessing in my practice, recovery, body today? Am I being open to what comes up for me? And if not, why is that? Without judgement, just witnessing. For my own self I am witnessing a gentle strength. Usually as big as the space that I claim for myself, today rather timid and on the small side. But it is there, right after the surgery it was all but gone. So this, this is huge! My life force, my prana, still there, getting stronger. And that triggers a feeling of being grateful. Being grateful for All of it. Every moment - I know you are probably rolling your eyes right now and that’s ok- but truly being grateful - for All of it!
Which reminds me of this sutra.....
Sutra 1.17: Vitarka vichara ananda asmita rupa anugamat samprajnatah
Deep concentration on an object consists of 4 types: 1. Gross thought (vitarka) 2. Subtle thought (vichara) 3. Bliss (ananda) 4. I-am-ness (asmita) and is called samprajnatah samadhi (unity with object and Divine).
The above sutra defines and sums up the whole process or levels of the concentration meditations. The other type of meditation is the mindless meditation, or the meditation without content, which will be defined in the upcoming sutra.
According to the Sage Patañjali, meditation or absorption (with content) consists of 4 types. These are:
1. Gross (vitarka): Meditation on physical objects (matter), external sense perceptions, mental visualizations/imagery, gross mental activity/thought patterns, physical body/breath, mantras/sound, etc. Other thoughts are apparent during this state of meditation.
2. Subtle (vichara): This is a more subtle level of meditation where the meditator begins to inquire the mind states and concentrates on energy realms, astral plane, causal plane, levels of consciousness, attributes, attachments/aversions, meditations on a certain God/Goddess/Deity or Godly characteristic, archetypes, etc.
3. Bliss (ananda): The meditator is united with Blissfulness, free from gross and subtle thought.
4. I-am-ness (asmita): This level is the most subtle state of meditation. The meditator who is the observer, unites with the observed and becomes one with All.
Anyway, I am all excited because today is Thursday. Thursday is massage day with Jenifer Mahanes ( please go see her and schedule your massage) that means love, hot stones, cupping, Reiki and more love = pain relief and healing !!! Yay!
Remember, you are not just the physical layer (remember the Koshas?), take good care of all 5 layers. Until the next time when I tell you a little bit more of what I have been doing physically.
Be still and know that I am God
Be still and know that I am
Be still and know