“Leaves tremble, roots remain still.”
The thunder is rolling through the sky. Oh please, not now, I have waited for this moment for so long. It looks like it’s going to rain at any moment as I am driving over the Connector to go swimming at the pool in West Ashley. The clouds are hanging low, but I am making my way there. Driving myself is my new found freedom all over again. As I get to the pool I am getting a little nervous, I haven’t been swimming since February 12- the day of my accident. At this point let me give you a little advice: always, always try your bathing suit on at home if you have not been swimming for a while and been on lock down because of a pandemic and /or recovery from surgery. Because you might have difficulty getting it over your hips or belly and you might be in shock over this as you stare in the mirror in the changing room. But hey, I was looking forward to going swimming since Thursday when my Neurosurgeon said that I was doing great over all and that I could do anything I wanted (within reason) as long as I listened to my body and there was no pain. There is still a little neuro problem in my legs , but I will be going to PT for that. So on that Thursday, my massage Thursday, I could finally, after 8 weeks lay on my belly. I can’t tell you how good that felt. And now the moment has come to do what I love so much- to swim. Now mind you, people in Europe when they swim will be doing the breaststroke unless they are on a swim team. So usually I swim 50 laps, 40 breaststroke and 10 backstroke. But if I can do one lap today I will be grateful. Not very many people are here today and I get to choose a lane in the deep end just the way I like it. Will my arms be able to pull me through the water? I know that the water will carry me. I am a little nervous and tell the lifeguard to keep an eye on me, she reassures me and says that she would. Slowly I walk down the steps into the cold water. I am taking deep breaths, because of my nerves and the cold water hahaha. The moment I lose ground underneath me I feel like my old self again. Making my way to the lane of choice I ask myself, what are we going to do here? We are taking it one breath, one stroke at a time…...slowly…..gently. And I start moving. My arms are weak, but willing. To keep my head above water is hard but doable. And I pull myself across the water to the other side, there I flip over and do the backstroke. As I am half way down the lane the sun is peeking through the window and illuminating my face. I close my eyes, breathing in and breathing out, making my way to the other side. I have no goal today other than listening to my body. After a couple of laps it’s getting a little easier and I almost get into my zone. I am being the witness of my practice, I am observing. I am feeling JOY ! And I am regaining trust for my body. I love to move, especially in water. When I got fatigued from swimming laps I rested and then finished with some Asanas in the pool. Lunges, tree pose, chair poses, warrior 2 and King Dancer (modified). My nerves are still regenerating, so there is a lot of weakness and trembling going on in arms and legs, but I noticed once again that my foundation, my life force/ chi is strong. And I was reminded of one of my favorite Celtic quotes: “ Leaves tremble, roots remain still.” With the pandemic and being out of work for so long I need to get back to work and earn some money. I wish that I could just ease into it, but no, I am starting back next week. And maybe that is a good thing. I have certainly missed everyone and some classes are already back in person, but others will be on Zoom or online. I will return to work just as I returned to swimming. One move at a time, I might tremble or won’t be able to do something, but my foundation and my intentions are pure and strong. And just so you know, NO I will not buy a new bathing suit, because I know that as I am moving more again, I will get back to my new “normal”. Roll out your mat, put this music on, start moving, the way you want to and give thanks to your body https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGz8lvdOG_g And a not so yogic choice…. Here is a song that reminds me of my life force (don’t pay attention to the video hahaha) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_BXaKXTutM So much Love & Light to you, Ursel Sarala OM OM OM
0 Comments
|